For Better or Worse – As Long As I Can Have My Horse

Another guest post from Eleanor D. Van Natta over at Sage By Nature. If you haven’t already be sure to read her other guest posts Part 1, Part 2 & Part 3. You can also check out more of her writing on her horse blog.

Cupid

Image from Chicks57

It would have been a lot easier on some of us horse loving girls if Cupid rode a horse instead of flew with wings.

Then perhaps he would understand our devotion to our horses and our dilemmas when we get married and have or want a horse.

Get Your Horses First, Ladies

When I married my husband, my biggest mistake was that I didn’t get the horse before I married him.

It seems that when I found my dream horse, he decided that his dream of being the one and only seemed to have died.

Simplify Things

I am no counselor or expert, but I have attained a certain amount of expertise in the area of horse-husband relations over the past 8 years.

Bride & Horse

Image from David Clow

I can sum up some key advice with the acronym EQUINES

E

Engage your husband as much as possible and as much as he is willing with the horse, like taking pictures or movies of you riding. If the horse seems like some affair you head off to with some unknown confidant it will only exacerbate things.

Q

Quality time is better than quantity when it comes to time spent with either your horse or your husband. Give quality time to each and the relationships and bonds will suffer less.

U

Understanding of what is driving the negativity surrounding your horse in the relationship – the horse is probably just a convenient excuse that is hiding the real issue(s).

I

Investing in your relationship with your spouse – the one you fell in love with and married – at least as much as the one with your horse will bring many dividends.

N

Negotiate and compromise but hold onto your dreams, work through the issues, and hold out hope.

E

Enjoy your time with your horse! Don’t waste time at the barn or riding by being distracted and fretting over what’s going on at home unless it leads you to some clearer thinking about possible solutions.

S

S**! Its last but not least; I am no Dr. Joy, but if this area isn’t ok in your marriage than the horse problem will seem even bigger – like any other issue in a marriage. Give your husband a positive association and memory of horses – roll in some sweet alfalfa hay and smear horse sweat on yourself, then go home to your husband and have a roll in the hay with him. Ya never know until you try…

Choose Your Horses (And Men) Wisely

I think I was lucky that I picked a gorgeous blonde Palomino mare instead of some gelding, or heaven forbid a stallion. But if you already have that stallion, my final advice is to not make any comparisons that will be seen as threat to your husband’s manliness.

About Eleanor

EleanorEleanor Van Natta is a wife, a mother of two little girls, and a caretaker to one dog, one cat, and one horse. She has a Zoology degree from the University of CA, Davis, and prior to becoming a stay at home mom she had a career in environmental and pharmaceutical sales. You can find more of her writing on her website: Sage By Nature.

6 Comments on “For Better or Worse – As Long As I Can Have My Horse

  1. Jessica Boyd

    I can’t tell you how many women at my barn tell me how lucky I am that my partner (Steve) rides horses! I know I’m lucky, but really, your post is dead-on even with a guy that loves horses, too.

  2. Julie Rempp

    All I can say is this is the best read to describe the way I feel. I am also lucky that my husband likes to be involved with horses and trail rides all summer with me, although I love my time on the trail alone with my other best friend my mare. But he will tell me that how I feel about horses is more like a passion, I have to agree with him:)

  3. Penny

    I originally landed on your blog and followed a few of your articles before arriving at this one. I’m really glad I read it too!

    I’ve gotten used to being a single mom and hadn’t thought about what could happen if I find that wonderful husband (more specifically, “new dad”) that my son is encouraging me to find.

    Thanks!

  4. Eleanor Van Natta

    Well Julie and Penny its funny you should read and write today of all days. My husband just got a new camera and came out to take lots of pictures, and I got some cute ones of my girls on Sage. I have learned to be happy with the rare visit, and focus on the fact that he did indeed come out, instead of focusing on the fact that this is his 1st time out to see Sage since who knows when. Good thing Sage didn’t break his camera or anything :).

  5. LONNETTE J.JOHNSON

    HI MARILYN;
    YOU MAY BE SURPRISED BY MY COMMENT, BUT I WILL TAKE A HORSE OVER A MAN ANY DAY OF THE WEEK. I HAVE BEEN TO THE MARRIAGE ALTER AND THE DIVORCE COURTS TWICE AND THAT’S ENOUGH FOR ME. AT LEAST YOU DON’T HAVE TO MAKE ANY SACREFICES TO PLEASE A HORSE; ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TO LEARN WHAT THESE MAGNIFICENTLY BEAUTIFUL CREATURES ARE SAYING TO YOU AND LEARN TO UNDERSTAND THIER LANGUAGE. I WANT TO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SEEING THEM AS A SOUL; THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO THEM AND ME.

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